Local Monster Burgles Meadery – A Hero Emerges

Grendel by J. R. SkeltonRendering of Burglar by J.R. Skelton

Early on Sunday morning a local monster attacked our little Mead Hall. After destroying both doors but failing to gain entry, this villain shattered a window and made off with all of our money from the week.

Given that he took an envelope marked “Tips for the Staff,” we at first assumed that this individual is a blood relative or protege of the unreformed Grinch. Then, a more likely suspect appeared…

Who would attack a Mead Hall, especially one who’s so committed to our community? Well, according to the scholars of old, the answer appears to be obvious: Grendel.

That’s right. The joy, revelry, and harmony that we promote at our Mead Hall has been stirring the evil in the heart of this great beast.

​But, unlike the men of Hrothgar: Our Wassail is not over; we do not weep to Heaven nor mourn under the sun! Why?

First and foremost, no one was hurt. Glass can be replaced, doors repaired, and money made; but our staff and customers are all safe and sound, and that’s what really matters to us.

Next, The Colchester Police Department has been absolutely amazing. They were at the scene before we even got there from our home. They not only did an amazing job with the details of the case, but they were very, very supportive to our little six-year-old pseudo-staff member, Lillian.

Lillian was there when the break-in was discovered, and as you can imagine, she was really upset that one of her safe places was broken into. Officers Jeff and Mark went above and beyond to make sure she felt comfortable and safe, even making her an honorary member of the Colchester Police Force with her own little sticker badge.

Lillian is really the hero of our story. Last night, she came over to Ricky and Kelly’s house to make sure that they were OK, even sitting with Ricky to read his favorite book.

Then, this morning, she proudly announced – before going to school – that she didn’t care about the monster, she was going to go win all of our tips back. (Not giving a coherent plan, we asked her not to engage in mortal combat, but we told her that we really appreciate the sentiment.)

So, if you see Officers Jeff or Mark, please thank them for doing such an amazing job with our Little Hero.

And, of course, if you see our Little Hero, please tell her how proud you are of her, because we can’t possibly tell her enough.

Of course, if you do have something to report, a little more information about the burglary is here, and you can contact the police at 802-264-5555


2 thoughts on “Local Monster Burgles Meadery – A Hero Emerges

  1. “Though you murder the world, transmogrify life into I and it, strong searching roots will crack your cave and rain will cleanse it: The world will burn green, sperm build again.”

    Like

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