What the heck, Peter Jackson?

Beorn FaceNo Idea Who This Is

What the heck, Peter Jackson? I ask so little of you. Here’s the very reasonable list of my expectations:

  1. Don’t make up new characters. (I’m looking at you, Tauriel.) 
  2. Don’t make me feel that you use a book to make a movie the same way Churchill used Vermouth to make a martini.
  3. Don’t take out my favorite reference to MEAD in all of literature!

In the book The Hobbit, Beorn is described as follows: “sometimes he is a huge black bear, sometimes he is a great strong black-haired man with huge arms and a great beard” who is known for his “great rolling laugh.” Compare that to Jackson’s Beorn who is presented primarily as a man of starling eyebrows who would make more sense as Sabretooth in X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Beorn laughs and tells stories in the book. In the movie? He roars and grumbles alternately. 

Oh yeah, and he gives them all the mead they can drink!

He tells them stories. He gives them cakes. And he gives them Mead. 

They wasted time in the movie drinking MILK, for gods’ sake!

Pete, I expect an apology in the form of a super extended edition with mead added and Tauriel removed.

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